|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
From YOUR goodbyes.
Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
And break the stereotypes.
I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.
I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.
Only stereotypes, can break you.
Graduation DayGraduation Day:
They told us we would be alright...
We had fought with honour and won our titles.
We had overcome trials together -
Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.
For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;
A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.
All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.
Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...
There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.
Walking miles across the scorching desert,
Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.
Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -
Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned.
Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.
Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.
They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.
They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.
That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.
The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.
But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.
But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
it left me
with a phantom
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag
Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
I run away because
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
...I keep stepping on mines...
ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow
she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why
i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were
i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
brain squealsI beat depressions in the earth
for my brain squeals and waves
that burst in my wet ears
until something makes me drown.
I will. (again) V.
put rocks in pockets
and walk right in --
I'll drink your overcoat
until your throat weeps
and your soaked hair
weighs you down.
brain squeals are from cold sweats
TearsI am not afraid to cry.
I am not afraid for you to see the tears
Don’t tell me I have no heart.
Don’t tell me I have no soul.
For without them I could not cry.
You may not see my tears but they are there.
I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,
For the things I’ve lost.
They are silent tears, but they are mine.
So let me cry.
Let me show you I have a heart.
Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.
I am not afraid to cry.
I am notI’m not your little boy.
You’re not my little girl.
I’m just someone you met,
And wants to change the world
I’m not the prince in your dreams
I don’t have smarts or might
I’m just the one that screams
And cries to sleep at night
I’m not who you want me to be.
I will never be what you are.
I’m myself, I am free.
I’m not ashamed of my scars
I’m not that weak
You’re not that strong
You still have company
But I’m still alone
So I speak
Though this poem.
It’s not a pretty love song
I’m just saying what pains me, explaining what’s going on.
Because I am not perfect,
I’m not retarded,
I’m just like you,
There is always a reason to be
And I won’t regret
I’m always happy to be me.
Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul
To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes
Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity
And now I finally see-
The true face of faith that I once held so dearly
This sensation is somewhat familiar-
My thick tears become entangled
I clench my trembling fists-
As a regretful prayer exits my tainted lips
Blindly lead down this beaten path!
Reaching the end forces me to despise the past
Hymns of comfort have left me feeling torn!
This flawed cross can't protect me anymore
I always reached for what wasn't even there!
The darkness becomes clear as the light disappears
I kiss the welcoming abyss / Closing the rift I once lived
Clouds drift / Body lifts
Winds wisp / Tears twist
My pain and peace quickly shift / The over
it strikes me
that this woman
could be a palace.
I marvel at
the opulent dome of
her brow, her arch
skin like a courtyard of
a thousand intersecting
golden lines about her
head and neck.
she beams from atop her
beatific and beautiful,
spreads her arms like
invites you to be one of
who have wandered her
I’ve often thought
as a castle:
all rough-hewn stone
a temper like molten
my head is crowned
at the crenels.
I look out from my
guerites, my brattices,
eyes like arrow-slits
A Sound Unheard From A Love UnsaidDoes the heart make a sound
Besides the beating and the pound?
Does it cry out and sing?
Singing you, I have found
When the lights were out
My heart did not shout
Did not scream, did not beat,
Did not wander about
Now I think to myself
"Was it I that found you?"
On a shelf I lied, dusty and used
With a heart in your chest as beautiful as you
You dusted me off and made me brand new
When your eyes met with mine
My heart finally made that a sound
Besides the habitual beating and pound
It cried out and sang
"It was you who found me
It was you who saved me
It was you who changed me
And it was I who's heart speaks true
I Know Of A GirlI know of she, like she is the sea
The sea may seem dangerous,
But is beautiful and free
I've spoken to the sea
And she spoke back to me
And said "A future without he
Is a future without me"
He gave up on the sea
And the sea gave up on she
Now nothing left of he
But a life of secrecy
She gave security
Now insecure is the sea
And you will be
A dream that's worth dreaming
You think yourself unloved
I say you're a specialty
A diamond in the rough
The sweetest piece of candy
You are the sea
The key for life to be
And if without the sea
How dry the world would be"
She cried "No that's not me
I Spy A Siren's LieI spy with my little eye
A beautiful princess walking by
With a spying eye, I mumble a "Hi"
"Hi" she replies so shy, with sigh
She spoke the words of those above the sky
Saying "I've broken something, I cant deny.
I can use a mend if you dont mind."
She opened up her heart and let me inside
I took a look around where secrets reside
I stepped upon the tombs where past loves now lie
Her heart, then, locked closed and kept me inside
She spoke "Now I Have You Always, And Forever
You Are Mine."
So Why Stop ThereI've given you my heart, so why stop there?
You've replaced my cravings and my need for air
Should've sewn my worries to your well-being
Now I'm lying all alone, a moan the only sound I bare
But I will not stop there, my care for you's too strong
You're too much of a "right" for there to ever be a "wrong"
So as you rest alone, dreaming of dreams come true
Why not dream together and make this short life
But why stop there?
The Loud Silence of the JadedThe children unrest, sugar-high, obsessed.
The loners linger, the loners retreat from the rest.
The lovers caress, the world thier nest.
The gothic opressed, emotionally stressed.
A world so loud.... so quiet.
The silent, so trampled, so hidden.
The silent reside under the rocks
you walk beside.
The silent, oblivious and omnicient
both an insect and a god.
The silent, no fraud.... no fraud.
Flawed and poisoned, a ticking bomb.
No brain, no organs, no heart, and no soul.
Just thoughts, wishes unanswered habitualy,
physically plucked by mental inspectores,
inspectingour expectations, failed quota,
failed waste of breath, false
To Cradle the Heart Till SlumberTo begin the day, I'll say it's true
that all days have began and shal always end with you.
Your eyes paint the morning, your hair strokes the night,
a smile to stretch the evening for one last glowing sight.
Still at night i kiss the moon, hoping someday you could be
the angel to lend your heart so tis only you an' me.
You erase the world which once was drawn to show alone and fear
but sketch a life meaningfull enough to love and conjure a tear.
Let us play hide n' seek until you paint the morning anew,
you can hide, but I shal find you in the sky lit blue...
Spin the bottle with the clouds, it always points to west,
Love Speaks For The UnspokenHello pretty girl
Will you be my friend?
We've had our beginning
But will you follow me to the end?
And even in the end
Will you continue loving me?
Because an end without you
Is a short eternity
I give a grin
You smile back
From your heart that fills
All the things that I lack
To comply with your needs
Is a need to comply
So when gravity fails
Let our love take to the sky
And so that day comes
When I do not see you
When I sit around all day
Writing "I love you's"
But those days I cannot choose
Whether I win, tie or lose
So I just hope and dream
You're writing "I love you too's"
I know.. I get tongue tied, I get quiet
Keep in Touch!
`ChewedKandi has certainly gone out of her way to keep the vector community on the right path. Always making sure that her talents are infinitely scalable, Sharon has put her bezier curves to excellent use, and firmly anchored herself as an inspirational leader. We're absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for June 2013 to `ChewedKandi. Congratulations, Sharon! Read More